I’m concerned that my boyfriend’s reliance on AI is impacting his independent thinking | Annalisa Barbieri

My boyfriend, who is 44 years old and has been in my life for eight years,
is an entrepreneur with ADHD.
Managing administrative tasks and dealing with day-to-day activities has always posed difficulties for him,
but the emergence of AI technology has drastically improved his workflow.
Recently, however, I’ve started to notice that he seems to rely on AI for virtually everything,
making me anxious about its impact on his independence. He heavily utilizes
ChatGPT
and even prefers it over more suitable and accurate alternatives — for instance,
he opts for it to check train schedules instead of using Trainline.
It’s worth mentioning that he recently received his ChatGPT Wrapped summary and is in the top 0.3% of users worldwide.

I’m concerned about his ability to think independently
and the environmental implications of such severe dependence on technology.
While I recognize that AI serves as an effective tool in his professional life,
its pervasive use in all aspects of life worries me.

I’m mindful that I might come across as overly critical,
and I understand that his ADHD may lead to obsessive behaviors.
I am seeking advice on the best way to discuss my concerns with him.

Balancing the demands of running a business can be daunting. While it’s easy to attribute his challenges solely to ADHD, I wonder if he may be dealing with underlying anxiety. His reliance on AI might be more a symptom of that anxiety rather than the root cause.

I brought this situation to the attention of Dr. Stephen Blumenthal, a consultant clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst, along with Henry Shelford, CEO of
ADHD UK.

Dr. Blumenthal suggested that we might be on the cusp of identifying a new condition known as “chatbot overdependence syndrome.” As we delve deeper into an era where AI is becoming integral to our lives, the dependence on it could lead to a complete erosion of our ability to perform even basic tasks without its assistance.

“For someone with ADHD, shorter attention spans and difficulties focusing mean that AI can be particularly helpful,” Dr. Blumenthal explained. “However, the flip side is that it may lead to greater dependency on these technologies.”

Shelford postulated that perhaps your boyfriend is experiencing struggles related to his condition and utilizing AI as a form of support. “While AI has the potential to lead individuals down distracting paths, it can also serve as a constructive tool for organizing thoughts and accomplishing tasks.”

That said, your boyfriend’s reliance on AI appears more profound, suggesting a lack of self-confidence, which can be detrimental in the long run.

Dr. Blumenthal noted that challenges arise when reliance on AI transcends mere problem-solving. This could lead to forming an unhealthy relationship with it, projecting human qualities onto technology and seeking validation or comfort through its use.

How should you approach this? It’s wise not to adopt a nagging stance, as that rarely produces effective outcomes; it often just becomes background noise. Choose a moment when both of you are calm for a serious discussion about your concerns.

Shelford recommended initiating a dialogue by asking your boyfriend questions such as: “What are you gaining from this? Why has this tool become essential to you, and what gaps is it addressing?” This may lead to identifying alternative solutions or a more balanced approach to using AI.

Dr. Blumenthal stressed the importance of recognizing the situation as a potential overdependence syndrome. Critiquing him could push him further into reliance on AI. It’s crucial to approach the conversation with empathy, understanding that losing the support of ChatGPT could be perceived by him as a significant threat.

On a positive note, your boyfriend has proven his capability of functioning without AI, unlike the younger generation growing up immersed in these technologies. Reminding him of his existing skills and strengths could encourage a more balanced integration of AI into his life. It seems clear that he is grappling with anxiety, and addressing its root causes will help both of you move forward together.

Every week, Annalisa Barbieri addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like to seek advice from Annalisa, please send your problem to
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